


White Waters

by ViolentFemmes



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Epica - Freeform, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4384805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentFemmes/pseuds/ViolentFemmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the lyrics of Epica's "White Waters," this songfic follows InuYasha as he spends some time alone away from his friends until he is distracted by a familiar face on the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Waters

I was alone for the first time in a long time. Completely alone. Kagome had gone back to her own time, Miroku was traveling, Sango went to tend to the gravesites of her kin, and she took Shippo with her. Even as I sat in that old Kaede’s village in my tree, surrounded by many people who both respected and feared me, I was lonely; and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wallowed for two days already. No one had returned, and I didn’t really feel like chasing after them, not even Kagome. It was strange. Normally, I would have just followed her into the well, but…something told me to stay.

Leaping from my perch, I wandered out of the village. I had nowhere in mind and merely let my feet take me where my subconscious desired to be. Before I was aware of anything, I was recognizing the colors and the smells and the sounds of my new location. The pink trees and the green water…this was where I always came with her. That tree there…I touched it, remembering. I sat there often, watching her. We even sat there together a few times. Turning towards the water, I knelt before it, staring at my faintly rippling reflection as it turned to circles at my touch. Why am I here?

That was when I saw a subtle motion that was different than what I had stirred. It felt odd, yet strangely familiar. Either way, it caused enough emotional uproar within myself that I couldn’t just dismiss it as a fish. I saw a silhouette, liquid that moved. Was that skin? It was…skin like a pearl in the sea. It was pale, clean, and smooth. Familiar.

Sitting down on the grass, cool and damp from being so near to the water’s edge, I couldn’t resist remaining, staring past my reflection. That motion was there and gone in an instant, but the feeling remained. The breeze picked up around me, tangling some loose pink petals into my hair. I didn’t care. Through the rustling, however, I heard her voice in the wind.

_“InuYasha…”_

Standing swiftly, I frantically looked around me, my face likely telling of all my sudden distress. “Kikyo!” I shouted. Once more I called her name, once more I pleaded to the elements. Why must I be taunted so? That was when a splash in the water beckoned my attention. As I turned to face the noise, I shook my head. I saw an all too familiar visage, but I couldn’t help but wonder if my eyes were being deceived. “Kikyo? Is it you I see?”

The familiar face of the long dead Kikyo smiled. It was gentle and genuine. Her dark eyes glistened with love and desire as she stood from the water and moved to settle on the grassy bank nearest to her. I made my way over in an instant. There was no denying this feeling. This was her. This had to be her. How, I did not know, but it was… I approached her with dampening eyes and a smile unlike any smile I’d given before. “Kikyo…” My voice was hardly a murmur, hardly a breath. “Is it really you?” She held out her arms, inviting me to sit with her, and I did more than that. I knelt next to her and clutched her to my body like a lost child.

“Lie down in my arms, InuYasha.” Kikyo murmured gently. “Trust what you see. It’s me. I’m here. For you.” she smiled, pushing me gently off of her; enough to wipe at the tears that I didn’t know I had released. “Smooth your brow, you will be with me to find your relief.” As she spoke, I was hypnotized. Everything about her was the same as it was before the betrayal caused by Naraku. This was so surreal. I didn’t even notice that she was pulling me into the water, rather I welcomed the chill; it made her warmer to the touch as I clutched to her again, my chin on her shoulder as we began to float away from the shore.

“I missed you,” I muttered, gazing at whitecaps coming so close. It was strange to see the subtle froth of the water that was usually so calm. Suddenly everything became clear. It did not take me long to realize we were in the middle of the basin. Somehow, though, I still didn’t care. How could I, really? Kikyo was there. In my arms. It was so peaceful on the water, that I became numb with the aching of my own heart. How could I let her go? Even out here? Still I was waiting and waiting, merely holding fast to what I had lost so long ago. I had forgotten my loneliness, I had forgotten my friends. This moment was all that mattered.

Kikyo let me go, however, and sank below the surface. I reached for her, afraid that she was a dream and was leaving me forever, again. Relief washed over me, however, as I found myself diving after her. She was still as much of a reality as I desired. The water was pulling me near, and I begged her silently to welcome me back into her grasp. She seemed so happy to comply. This time, though, it was her holding me. I rested my head against her chest beneath the water, holding my breath so intensely that I forgot about the rest of my pain. “Lie down in my arms, InuYasha.” she repeated herself from before. “Try not to breathe.”

Normally, that would have been a huge red flag, however I was already lost. I was lost in love, lost in the water, and I was running out of breath, so I was beginning to lose my mind, as well. All of this happening at once still didn’t bother me. I was happy just hearing her voice, feeling her touch, listening to the beat of her absent heart. A small part of me that was still relatively conscious knew well what was going on, but it was so small and insignificant to everything else that I just couldn’t bring myself to stop this, to let go and return to reality; to breathe, to live.

“Quiet, love, you are now with me. You need no words to speak…” Kikyo continued, as if reading the entirety of my thoughts. Calming my doubts with a measley number of words was a magic that only she had. Even while she was alive and well so many years ago, it was only her that could fix me. Thinking back, I wished that I could have realized that. I wished that I could have recognized when she wasn’t herself, that what I saw of her during the end was a figment of some demon’s cruel means of entertainment. For my mistakes, then, I am to blame. I truly never believed that it was all meant to fall. Thinking back, I was so happy, and I threw it all immediately away at the drop of a hat because I wasn’t strong enough to see through some horrible fucker’s illusions. Now, as I lay in my love’s arms again, sinking farther and farther downwards, I knew… I’d give my life to have her near once again.

This feeling was too real to forget. There was not an ounce of what remained of my being that wanted to live. I was too far down, too far gone. All I could do was look at her feebly, open my mouth, and say, “Take me away.” The water that rushed into me at that point was too much. The feeling of Kikyo holding me slowly vanished. I was alone again in my final thoughts, my last moment of life, and I still dedicated it to her.

_Would you forgive me?_


End file.
